Ever since my last post (I know 7 months ago) I have been extremely busy. Here is a rundown of a few major events. Doug: Kidney failed and replaced. Adoption: Almost completed with home study and will be in waiting pool very shortly. Summer: Had 3 weekends at home since May 1st, fishing 5 times. Church: Starting new program to increase Biblical understanding in which is called Catalyst.
I have a challenge for myself and if anybody cares they can challenge me on it. I have heard and been thinking about how the world and Xian thinkers have influenced my answers when it comes to the Bible. I was asked about Revelations a few times and I answered rather assuredly, but then thought about it and realized that it came from a Xian author and it wasn't actually from the Bible. So here it is. When I am asked a question about the Bible, I want to be able to bring up where that answer is, not just "oh it's in there somewhere." I have a feeling that this will be more challenging than I thought. Not a new revelation to anybody, but it will increase my knowledge. We are influenced too much by what others people think, and most times not what God has already said about that subject. Let my thought be as Your thoughts. Amen
The church thing is getting me excited to get back into our church. Which bring me to a question that I have asked my self for the last 8 years or so, and has been more on my mind since our leadership decided to go with a different program. What is the purpose of meeting at a Church? Fluff answers like " To worship God" will not count. WE can worship God anywhere anytime. I want a more thoughtful approach. I will blog again in a couple of days to either respond if anybody comments, or just give my definition of the reason we have church at a specific location if nobody answers.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
New Read
I am looking for new topics that can be done with a couple of genreations of guys. I have been looking at different topics, different books of the Bible and nothing has really struck me as "A-Ha, that what we should do!" I am however working on my First John Piper book (not the small 4x4 100pgs long), called "When I don't desire God: How to fight for Joy." This is a harder book for me to read because it makes me stop, process, react to his own thoughts and take a closer look at my reaction in a different way compared to "Wild at Heart".
Wild at Heart looks at the Heart from the past point of view to see how it affects your future actions and helps you overcome it, where John piper takes it from this moment and work forward into eternity. While both books are good, it will be intresting to see how this unfolds into my life.
Here is the link to the e-book
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/OnlineBooks/ByTitle/1600_When_I_Dont_Desire_God/
Guys, if you have any good Bible Study ideas please let me know.
Wild at Heart looks at the Heart from the past point of view to see how it affects your future actions and helps you overcome it, where John piper takes it from this moment and work forward into eternity. While both books are good, it will be intresting to see how this unfolds into my life.
Here is the link to the e-book
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/OnlineBooks/ByTitle/1600_When_I_Dont_Desire_God/
Guys, if you have any good Bible Study ideas please let me know.
Friday, September 26, 2008
funny things
website of "Real Men Of Genius"
If you remember the older commercial of Budweiser, you'll get a kick from this.
If you remember the older commercial of Budweiser, you'll get a kick from this.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
What you long to hear
A lot of times I don't listen to everything that I hear either coming from people around me or a voice inside me. When I hear affirming words about me, my instant tendency is to dismiss them by thinking, "I have done it better in the past," or "I actually messed up here or there," or something to the effect that what I did or say was not is not a representation of who I am. All of this comes down to the fact that I do not feel like I am worthy of being praised, even though it is something I need to hear.
This comes from a feeling inside me, a false me that says, you, as you are, are no good and should not get anything praise worthy. Obviously a lie that has had me so clinched in its grasp that I was living it, made me scared of people, made me scared of being good at anything. I still get scared at stuff that I am good at.
The enemy's aim is direct and brutal. It takes affect when we choose to listen to that voice that says we can't. That becomes a wound. God Ironically will attack exactly where that wound is and reopen it. It seems cruel, but it now will heal after He gets done with it, and after you let him reopen it and heal through it with Him.
God will say you are good, and you are worthy of that praise, job well done. It is scary for me to think about that, why? I want it to be true so desperately, and to be called a man by Him, that If I don't get it, it will hurt once more, so I embrace that hurt before I am let down, (even though God doesn't let his children down, or anyone for that fact) because it will feel like it hurts less.
Trying to trust that I will not fall into that hurt is the struggle, and relying on God to say when I do fail that you are a man because you tried.
I see that I have gone on again, more to come.
This comes from a feeling inside me, a false me that says, you, as you are, are no good and should not get anything praise worthy. Obviously a lie that has had me so clinched in its grasp that I was living it, made me scared of people, made me scared of being good at anything. I still get scared at stuff that I am good at.
The enemy's aim is direct and brutal. It takes affect when we choose to listen to that voice that says we can't. That becomes a wound. God Ironically will attack exactly where that wound is and reopen it. It seems cruel, but it now will heal after He gets done with it, and after you let him reopen it and heal through it with Him.
God will say you are good, and you are worthy of that praise, job well done. It is scary for me to think about that, why? I want it to be true so desperately, and to be called a man by Him, that If I don't get it, it will hurt once more, so I embrace that hurt before I am let down, (even though God doesn't let his children down, or anyone for that fact) because it will feel like it hurts less.
Trying to trust that I will not fall into that hurt is the struggle, and relying on God to say when I do fail that you are a man because you tried.
I see that I have gone on again, more to come.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Time to rise to the fall... and thoughts
(Preface: Most of this writing is not in particular order, but it has what was in my head at the time, and most of you who know me, my mind does not work sequentially or in order according to standard rules of life. Call them ramblings, call them stray thoughts, call them whatever you want, but it does have to do with the topic, You have been warned of non-congruent thoughts.)
I have read Wild at Heart 3 times previous to doing this study with other guys, and just now am I beginning to process and work through the parts of life that the book hits. I know that there is something inside a man the cries out let me be a MAN, but all there is is the hollow echo in my head that just says only if...
Chapter 4 and 5 starts hitting this hollow echo for some, and others it is worse because they hear a louder sound saying your not able to be a man. This sound that repeats itself so loudly is usually the voice that comes from Dad, or a father figure.
Masculinity is past on from man to man and usually takes a long time or a huge event to secure that presence inside of that boy/man. 3rd world countries have initiation into manhood and after that they are treated as a man. No puberty, no insecure ideas from society that says you have to be such and such to be a real man.
Boys become responsible when they are given the responsibilities of a man, and when a man receives the responsibilities of a boy, they either reject it, or shrink back into a lesser state...boyish tendencies. Even questioning the role of manhood to a certain man can strike at the heart of the already frail pot and send him into regression. Sometimes this comes out as anger, to the person who did it, the world, even God. Sometimes this comes out fear and shyness. A man is not made to hide in the corner with a blanket, (although some would like them to be there) a man is made to standout, and to come through in crunch time, to be the hero that we all know he was made to be.
As I look into myself I see some parts of my history that have shaped me as who I am. I remember a time my Dad said that I should not be in wrestling because it would screw up my neck and other potential stuff, even though it was my only sport I wanted to be in. (Football was out of the question as well.) There is more to the story but I am keeping it short. I have since then question the activities that I have done base on whether or not it would be "safe" for me to do. I see the hesitancy in myself with challenges that come into my life and how it has created a path to where I am today, job I have, what I do and not do for fun.
Since knowing this I am seeing opportunities that I have missed and missing because of that insecurity of choosing the "right" path according to my hurt and not wanting to hurt again. This thought and action limits myself in the perspective of relation to God and what I do for Him. I feel like I have been changing my life since coming to this realization and changing my own paradigm, and I feel more a live in a way, also I feel a tug at the same time trying to pull me back to my old habit of safeness with life choices.
I am saying all of this to get you guys to start thinking about what hurt has affected you through your life. I mentioned a small incident, but it has had some larger effects throughout my life. Take a look a and reflect, don't worry about how big or how small it was, look at how it has changed your life, and run it through the course of your history. What has this done to your view of God and how has it hindered it.
I have read Wild at Heart 3 times previous to doing this study with other guys, and just now am I beginning to process and work through the parts of life that the book hits. I know that there is something inside a man the cries out let me be a MAN, but all there is is the hollow echo in my head that just says only if...
Chapter 4 and 5 starts hitting this hollow echo for some, and others it is worse because they hear a louder sound saying your not able to be a man. This sound that repeats itself so loudly is usually the voice that comes from Dad, or a father figure.
Masculinity is past on from man to man and usually takes a long time or a huge event to secure that presence inside of that boy/man. 3rd world countries have initiation into manhood and after that they are treated as a man. No puberty, no insecure ideas from society that says you have to be such and such to be a real man.
Boys become responsible when they are given the responsibilities of a man, and when a man receives the responsibilities of a boy, they either reject it, or shrink back into a lesser state...boyish tendencies. Even questioning the role of manhood to a certain man can strike at the heart of the already frail pot and send him into regression. Sometimes this comes out as anger, to the person who did it, the world, even God. Sometimes this comes out fear and shyness. A man is not made to hide in the corner with a blanket, (although some would like them to be there) a man is made to standout, and to come through in crunch time, to be the hero that we all know he was made to be.
As I look into myself I see some parts of my history that have shaped me as who I am. I remember a time my Dad said that I should not be in wrestling because it would screw up my neck and other potential stuff, even though it was my only sport I wanted to be in. (Football was out of the question as well.) There is more to the story but I am keeping it short. I have since then question the activities that I have done base on whether or not it would be "safe" for me to do. I see the hesitancy in myself with challenges that come into my life and how it has created a path to where I am today, job I have, what I do and not do for fun.
Since knowing this I am seeing opportunities that I have missed and missing because of that insecurity of choosing the "right" path according to my hurt and not wanting to hurt again. This thought and action limits myself in the perspective of relation to God and what I do for Him. I feel like I have been changing my life since coming to this realization and changing my own paradigm, and I feel more a live in a way, also I feel a tug at the same time trying to pull me back to my old habit of safeness with life choices.
I am saying all of this to get you guys to start thinking about what hurt has affected you through your life. I mentioned a small incident, but it has had some larger effects throughout my life. Take a look a and reflect, don't worry about how big or how small it was, look at how it has changed your life, and run it through the course of your history. What has this done to your view of God and how has it hindered it.
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